I fell back in love with my secret, undercover, wish you were my lover. It was inevitable. He's such an awesome guy how could I NOT love him. I assure you that this is a healthy obsession and not the stuff that movies are made from. No, no Kathy Bates in misery here.
Over dinner with my greatest gal pals in Cleveland at a Mexican restaurant (I've probably gained 5 freaking pounds since I've been here) we discussed my method of collecting research and information on my future boo. Now, for all of you assholes out there that aren't familiar with Market Research let me explain what the hell it is. This is actually my specialty, professionally. I'm hoping that my next job will consist of Market Research and Analysis. I like to collect information, analyze it, and create a strategy to complete the task at hand. My current task, getting next to this dude. My target market: him. Now, for all you dummies out there that like to waste your time finding out things for yourself and viewing your disappointment as a "learning experience" shame on you for being so silly!! I RESEARCH EVERY FUCKING THING BEFORE I waste time, money, and energy pursing and/or purchasing it. I want to see user reviews, whether or not it works, who's tried it out, if it'll be a good fit for me and if it's a waste of my time. I am a LAZY ass individual because of this, I am also VERY efficient. Wasting time is not very efficient. So if I research something as minuscule as a book before I buy it, why wouldn't I research a person before date them????
Riddle me that batman! I bet some of you reading this just had an a-ha moment! Did a light-bulb go off in your head and you just realized that maybe there's a method to my madness? SHAM FUCKING WOW!
I'm too old to be dating people that I KNOW will waste my time. For what? A free dinner? Some ass? Uh no thanks. You can keep that. The person that I take my precious time to get to know WILL BE WORTHY OF IT. I'm not fucking around anymore folks! So I don't think that there is anything wrong with gathering information on someone to make sure that they are a good investment. Companies pay big bucks for that kind of research. Time is money honey. Now while I will still have to experience the individual of a personal level, I now know that this is an individual that I'd like to get to know.
Now on to some fun stuff...SEX WITH STUFFED ANIMALS.Who's down with being a PLUSHY!!!Haha! I saw an episode of CSI about Plushy's. Think about it: Everyone is in a costume - so I can save money on clothes, shoes and hair. It's probably very difficult to eat with an animal head on so I won't have to worry about gaining weight AND Plushy's get off by rubbing up against each other. I think Crabs is the only STD that you can get from rubbing up against something. I AM ALL ABOUT LIVING AN STD FREE LIFE. You should be as well. Won't you be a Plushy too?? Interested in learning about getting busy with stuffed animals? Go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PlushophiliaWHAT THE SHIT IS THIS!? LMFAO!!
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